


Hot Flow

by TheRothwoman



Series: Hardenshipping PWP [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Ruby & Sapphire & Emerald | Pokemon Ruby Sapphire Emerald Versions
Genre: Crack, Food Sex, M/M, Volcanoes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3616806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRothwoman/pseuds/TheRothwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Archie discovers that Maxie likes volcanoes a little...too much. Time for the most educational time in bed they've ever had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot Flow

**Author's Note:**

> This is a silly crackfic that came to me out of nowhere and has no continuity with any of my other Hardenshipping fics. I idly mused one day "hey what if Maxie actually got off to reading about volcanoes" and well everything went downhill from there. Thanks and apologies to relevant pages of Wikipedia. Things are gonna get weird oh god have fun. And PLEASE use extreme caution in the event that you feel compelled to stick volcanic rock up your ass (please do not stick volcanic rock up your ass).

Sometimes, one engaging in sex has to ask oneself: how strange can things get in the bedroom tonight? If the answer is “uncomfortably strange” or “I seriously don’t know if this is safe,” then perhaps one should reconsider the sex. If the answer is “comfortably strange” or “this is kinda weird, but considering who we’re talking about it kinda makes sense” then one can proceed, as long as proper communication between partners is employed.

That being said, Archie wasn’t entirely sure what to make of coming into his and Maxie’s bedroom one evening to find his partner pants-down, hands on dick, and jerking himself to an open book that appeared to feature a double-page full-color image of a volcano violently erupting. A geological pin-up, if you will.

“Having fun?”

Maxie whirled around, his once-proud dick flopping limply against his leg. “I wasn’t done yet,” he grunted. Archie shrugged.

“Hey, I knocked.”

“Well, if you must know, yes I was quite enjoying myself. I find this text very…stimulating.”

At first, Archie was tempted to point out that Maxie was whacking off to a picture, not text, but then his thoughts turned to the “how strange are things going to get in the bedroom tonight” scale. He was currently hovering between “well, should I really have expected anything else?” and “I hope he doesn’t expect us to use actual lava.” In the end, he decided to be adventurous and prod a bit further.

“Would you like me to read it to you?” he asked, grinning widely. At first Maxie looked surprised, but then he smiled.

“I think that would make the evening positively _sizzle_ ,” he said. They were both naked in under a minute.

“Okay,” said Archie, picking up the book, “where d’ya want me to start?”

“Pick any page, and just lay me down and make me warm,” replied Maxie. Archie flipped through the book until he reached a section on pyroclastic flows.

“Turn over on your belly, I’ll warm you up,” he said. Maxie did so, and Archie put the book down next to him, freeing both his hands to work into Maxie’s back with one of his more firm massage techniques. Leaning over, he began to read: “’A pyroclastic flow is a fast-moving current of hot gas and rock, which reaches speeds moving away from a volcano of up to seven hundred kilometers per hour, or four hundred and fifty miles per hour.’”

“Oh, come now Archie, you can read better than that,” Maxie sighed. Archie stopped for a moment, trying to figure out how he could possibly make volcanoes sound sexy, until he realized that this might not be such an absurd task. After all, both volcanic eruptions and ejaculation were about build-up to a dramatic climax involving expelling quantities of something from a hot chamber.

“Okay, how’s this? ‘ _Fast_ -moving current of _hot_ gas and _rrrrrrock_ ’,” Archie repeated, putting a new seductive emphasis on select words.

“Mmmmmm…” moaned Maxie, melting into Archie’s touch. “Please, do go on.”

“’The gas can reach temperatures of about one _thousand_ degrees Celsius, or one thousand eight _hundred_ and thirty degrees Fahrenheit. Pyroclastic _fllllows_ normally _hug_ the ground’,” Archie reached down and gave Maxie’s hips a good squeeze, “’and travel downhill, or _sprrrread_ laterally under gravity. Their _speed_ depends upon the density of the _current_ , the volcanic output rate, and the gradient of the _slope_.’” He gave Maxie’s buttocks a good rubbing with the flats of his palms. “’They are a common and devastating result of certain explosive volcanic…’” he paused for effect, “’… _eruptions_.’”

“Ooooooh, give me that last one again,” Maxie purred.

“’ _Errrrrrruptions_ ’,” Archie repeated, slowly. Maxie quivered under his touch. “”The kinetic energy of the moving boulders will _flatten_ trees and buildings in their path. The _hot_ gases and high _speed_ make them particularly lethal, as they will _incinerate_ living organisms instantaneously.’ Damn, this is ‘expand the land’ at its finest. No wonder you get off to this stuff.”

“Indeed,” said Maxie, as Archie finished up. Maxie flipped over and sat up on his knees, beckoning Archie closer with one finger. “Here, let me reward that excellent mouth of yours.” Archie scooted closer and Maxie wrapped his arms around the base of his partner’s neck, drawing him into a fierce kiss and grinding his hips against the larger man’s groin. “I think we can move on to the next stage,” said Maxie, pulling away ever so slightly. “Keep reading, but start somewhere new.” Archie leaned over to pick up the book and nearly dropped it again as Maxie took both of their cocks in one hand and started rubbing. Maxie was masterful with his hands, and Archie struggled to focus on the book as pleasurable shivers shot up his spine. He flipped at random to a different section and landed on one about lava tubes.

“Lava tubes…are a type of lava cave formed…when an active low-viscosity lava _fllllow_ develops a continuous and… _hard_ crust’,” he read, still attempting but failing to sound sufficiently seductive, “which _thhhhickens_ and forms a roof…above the still- _flowing_ lava stream.”

“Ahhh, streams…” Maxie murmured, increasing the speed of his strokes and adding his other hand to the genital fray. He leaned his chin against Archie’s shoulder for balance, who put his free hand around Maxie’s back to steady them further.

“’Lava usually…leaves the point of _eruption_ in channels’,” Archie continued. “’These channels tend to…stay very _hot_ as their surroundings cool. This means they slowly…develop walls around them as the…surrounding lava _cools_ and/or as the channel _mmmmelts_ its way _deeperrrrrr_ …’” Maxie teased their slits with one thumb and caressed their balls gently with the other hand. “’These channels…can get _deep_ enough to crust over, forming an insulating _tube_ that…keeps the lava _molten_ and serves…as a conduit for the _fllllowing_ lava. These types of _lava_ tubes tend to be closer to the lava… _eruption point_.’” Needless to say, they were both reaching an “eruption point” of their own. Maxie’s spectacular hands worked their magic on both of their cocks, building friction as Archie felt a delightfully familiar surge pulsing in his nether regions.

“Wait!” Maxie blurted out, causing Archie to drop the book.

“What?”

Maxie smirked, deviously. “I have another idea.” Archie nearly whimpered, frustrated at being stopped when he was so close. “How do you feel about…hot syrup?”

“S’long as it doesn’t burn me,” said Archie, with a sneaking suspicion he knew where this was going.

“Excellent,” said Maxie, “then you can regulate the temperature. The cherry syrup should be in the refrigerator door.” Maxie leaned back on the bed patiently as Archie trod limply to the kitchen. He put on his Captain Chef apron, on the off chance that any of the neighbors passed by the window while he worked, and took out the cherry syrup and a saucepan. He figured that sticking it in the microwave would dry it out, so he decided to do it on the stovetop so he could stir it and keep a better eye on the temperature. The things you do for love…

A few minutes later, Archie had gotten the syrup to a comfortable temperature: hot enough to add a bit of excitement, but not too hot that contact with the skin could do any damage. He turned off the stove and returned to the bedroom, saucepan in hand, before discarding the apron on the floor. Maxie was reclining against the headboard, idly browsing the book and stroking himself languidly. He looked up when Archie re-emerged, throwing him the seductive glance of a man who was about to pour something hot and sticky all over his lover.

“Archie, you are positively delectable, you know that?” he mused. Archie gave a humble shrug.

“I get the feeling I’m about to get even tastier,” he said.

“Excellent,” Maxie grinned. He reached out and took the saucepan as Archie sat on the bed next to him. “Lie down,” he instructed, and the Aqua leader complied. Taking a heaping spoonful of gooey-hot redness, Maxie plopped it down on Archie’s stomach. Archie winced briefly, then relaxed as the burning sensation began to dissipate with the escaping heat of the syrup being spread thin. Maxie traced the contours of Archie’s splendid muscles with the spoon before bringing it to his mouth and licking it slowly, not once breaking eye contact with his sweet lava beefcake.

“Better get it while it’s hot, Max,” said Archie, raising a come-hither eyebrow. Maxie set the saucepan on one of their bedside coasters, so as not to accidentally burn the sheets or the carpet, and gave Archie the book again.

“Here,” he said. “Read this.” Archie suppressed a hearty guffaw, which came out as an undignified snort. It was a section on submarine eruptions.

“’Submarine eruptions’,” he began, “’are those volcano _eruptions_ which take place beneath the surface of water’…” He wavered for a moment as Maxie started trailing his tongue along Archie’s torso, lapping up the lava-syrup with a slow, sensual motion. “’These occur at constructive margins… _subduction_ zones…and within tectonic plates due to _hotspots_. This _eruption_ style…is far more prevalent than subaerial activity. For example…it is believed that seventy to eighty percent of the world’s _mmmmagma output_ ’…” he quivered as Maxie sucked gently at one of his nipples, “’takes place at mid-ocean ridges.’ How’s that taste?”

“Pyroclastic.”

“So…like fast-moving rocky and gaseous volcanic destruction?”

“You know what I mean, Archie. But say that again.”

“You mean the _fffffast_ -moving _rocky_ , gaseous, _vvvvvolcanic_ destruction?”

“Mmmm,” Maxie growled with pleasure, rutting against Archie’s leg. “Do go on, I’ve got a special treat for you.” Archie returned to the book, feeling but not seeing Maxie lick up another glob of syrup from his pecs.

“’At shallow depths it is common for submarine eruptions to be _explosive_ due to the reaction between volatiles in the _magma_ and _water_ ’…ohhh ye _gods_ , Maxie…” he broke off as a familiar dampness engulfed his cock, followed by something warm and sticky rubbing along its underside. All too soon, Maxie pulled away.

“Oh dear, what a mess I’ve made,” Maxie sighed, eyeing the streak of syrup on Archie’s gradually stiffening erection. “Forgive me, Archie, I shall have to clean this up. You were saying? Magma and water?” Archie wasn’t sure if he was about to laugh or ejaculate. He did neither, although he was certainly chuckling on the inside. In addition to the perfectly placed puns, he relished the fact that he was so close to having the exact scenario to properly execute the expletive “sweet maple syrup dicks.”

“’The reaction between volatiles in the _magma_ and _water_ , which generates a significant quantity of _ssssteammmm_ ,’” he moaned as Maxie sucked him down again, swirling the syrup around. Archie briefly worried if getting sugar on his dick would cause an infection or something, but opted for being optimistic that Maxie would get it all. He wrapped his legs behind the Magma leader’s neck, urging him to keep going. “’ _Magma_ …being transported into the ocean through _tunnels_ ’…” his breathing came heavier as Maxie increased his speed, “’may see gases being _exsolved_ before…reaching…the water…and so the _eruption_ …is _effusive_ ’…!” Archie dropped the book and let out a cry of ecstasy as he bucked into Maxie’s mouth, having a small eruption of his own. Maxie withdrew and wiped his mouth, looking rather pleased with himself.

“Looks like I had more than one kind of syrup tonight,” he said, not missing a beat.

“Thanks, I made it myself.”

“Somehow I knew you were going to say that.”

“Eh, your lava probably tasted better.”

“Well now,” said Maxie, “I’m still having a build-up in my magma chambers that needs to be dealt with.”

“Your wish has been my command so far,” said Archie, picking up the book again. “What did you have in mind?” Archie was beginning to worry that if Maxie kept smirking like this, his face might stick like that.

“Oh, I have something very special for you to finish me off with,” he replied.

“Which page?”

“Not in the book, in the drawer.” Maxie got up and strode over to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a small rectangular box. At first, Archie thought it might be a cigar case. Then Maxie opened it. “Pure polished obsidian,” he crooned proudly.

It was an igneous rock dildo. Of course it was an igneous rock dildo. 

“You…literally want me to shove something from a volcano up your ass,” said Archie. But it quickly occurred to him that the only thing at all unusual about this dildo was the material it was made from, and that this was hardly an odd request. Especially at this point.

“Precisely,” said Maxie. “But warm it up first.” Of course.

“Lemme get you set up first,” Archie suggested, reaching into his bedside drawer and pulling out their bottle of lubricant. After slicking up a couple fingers and getting Maxie to relax his anus, which was frustratingly tense with anticipation, Archie turned his attention to the dick-shaped black rock. He starting rubbing it furiously between his hands, a little alarmed at how much force he was allowed to use now that he wasn’t ministering to an actual penis. When he finally got the thing good and warm, he turned back to Maxie. “Want me to keep reading?”

“If you please,” said Maxie, wiggling his behind. “There’s a section about igneous rock, I think you’ll find it most informative.”

Holding a book in one hand and probing Maxie with the other, Archie figured, would not be the most comfortable of tasks. Still, Archie had held heavier things than books in his arms for extended periods of time with little problem. Things like Maxie, for instance.

“Okay, here we go,” said Archie, sliding the dildo up Maxie’s rear. Maxie moaned with pleasure as he reached a hand down to begin tending to his growing need in the front. “’Obsidian,’” Archie read, “’is produced when felsic _lava_ extruded from a volcano cools _rapidly_ with minimum crystal growth. Obsidian is commonly found within the margins of rhyolitic lava flows known as _obsidian fllllows_. It is _hard_ and brittle; it therefore fractures with very sharp edges’…? Jeez, Maxie, if this thing breaks, you could slice your ass open! You sure you still want this in you?” But Maxie was a little too far gone.

“Details, details,” he grunted, still pleasuring himself with increasing speed. “Don’t stop…keep going.” Archie complied.

“’Igneous rock,’” Archie continued, “’is formed through the _cooling_ and _solidification_ of magma or lava. This _magma_ can be derived from partial _melts_ of pre-existing rocks in either a planet's mantle or crust. Typically, the _melting_ is caused by one or more of three processes: an increase in _temperature_ ’…” he began increasing his force as he sensed Maxie nearing climax, “…’a decrease in _pressure_ ’…” he leaned into him again, “…’or a change in _composition_!’” One last thrust and Maxie gasped one more time as he spent himself all over his hand and the bedsheets. Slowly, Archie withdrew the obsidian dildo and set it aside, leaning over his partner to make sure he was okay.

“How’re you feeling, nerd?” he asked with a smile. “And don’t you say…”

“Positively _volcanic_.”

Archie bopped the smug but sated man on the head with the book.

The End


End file.
